Friday, 26 April 2013

Lindsey: White Signs of Grief - We Need Your Sign

After the death of my daughter to stillbirth at 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant with her, I was immersed in grief and shock, but most of all, I felt alone.  I thought "Your children are not supposed to die before you; they are not supposed to die before they are even born."  I initially thought no one could understand my pain, but then the sympathy cards came in and people started to reveal their own deep pain and silent losses to me.  Losses that were kept secret.  Losses I felt like I should have known about.  Miscarriages, late term pregnancy loss, stillbirth, SIDs, cancer, playground accidents, drunk driving, and more.

I wanted to know why it seemed that everyone keep their grief a secret, why didn't I know about these childless mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends, and family members?  I decided I needed to see their faces, to connect, to hear their advice, their words of truth about the pain and the anguish, just as much as I wanted to hear their thoughts about hope and love they still feel for their deceased child. That is why I started White Signs of Grief. It's a place to honor your child who has left this earth too soon while sharing your words of wisdom about the grief journey after child loss in effort to give permission to others to grieve openly and honestly while still living.

It's a tough journey we are on as mothers, fathers, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, and friends who know the pain of living with a forever whole in our hearts left by children we will not get the chance to see grow.  It is important for us as grieving family members to know there are others who have traveled the path before us and have made it out the other side.  Maybe they are different now, but they are still holding on, still living, and still honoring their children who have passed too soon by helping others with their wise words.  Giving permission for us to grieve, maybe for the rest of our lives.

So If you are a grieving mom, dad, grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin, sister, brother, friend, or other family member to a child that has died too soon, we invite you to share your 'white sign of grief' with others at or e-mail your photo to  You can also like us on Facebook.  We look forward to seeing your face and your words of hope and truth about your grief journey after child loss in an effort to heal our own grief and help heal others through our words and faces.

I look forward to seeing your sign.

May peace find your heart,

Lindsey Henke

1 comment:

  1. Lindsey,

    Thank you for doing a post for the blog on White Signs of Grief. I think this is a great day - excellent for raising awareness of the loss the WHOLE family feels.

    Clara x