About Us

Loss Through the Looking Glass is a shared blog created by three bereaved mothers - Clara, Gemma and Nicole - who met via an online forum and wanted to share their experiences of life after loss. As losing a child can feel very isolating, they hope that the blog can become not only their shared space, but also play host to bereaved parents who have found their voice but not yet the place to share it. Please see the Contact Us section for details on how to send us your submissions.

Clara writes: We fell pregnant not long after our wedding but sadly miscarried at 6 weeks in October 2010. We then fell pregnant with Molly who was born sleeping at 21 weeks in April 2011. Tests on the placenta showed that it had failed due to a rare condition called massive perivillous fibrinoid deposition (MPFD) so doctors advised I would be on aspirin and daily heparin injections in any future pregnancy. We fell pregnant again in July 2011 but I had another early miscarriage. We fell pregnant for the 4th time in December 2011 and started on the treatment plan as recommended. However, the treatment did not help and baby Grace was born sleeping at 22 weeks in May 2012 after battling against all the odds for 6 weeks. This condition has our consultants baffled and they have now told us that our case was the first of this kind that they had dealt with as it is a very rare condition. We have been in touch with someone who has a similar condition and she has passed on all the research she has been doing alongside her consultant. So we have now been able to put our consultant in touch with others who have more experience of our condition. Suggested future treatment includes aspirin, heparin, steroids and some form of immune infusion therapy (i.e. Intralipids or IVIG, neither of which are currently available on the NHS). In October 2012, we discovered we were pregnant again for the 5th time. We started the full treatment plan straight away, opting for Intralipids as the IVIG was not available to us in Scotland. Unfortunately, little one's heartbeat stopped at 11 weeks at the beginning of December. At the moment, we do not know whether or not the MPFD has recurred very aggressively or that we have been incredibly unlucky. Scans up to this point showed a healthy, developing baby with a good, strong heartbeat. The placenta has been sent away for testing and we await results. You can read more about me here Clara: My story and here Clara: When loss keeps on happening. You can read more about MPFD here Clara: Massive Perivillous Fibrinoid Deposition.

Gemma writes: I met my lovely husband when I was at university around 12 years ago; young and carefree we married in 2006 and have faced the various storms of life together. In 2010 we thought that finally, we were going to have our happy ever after when we discovered we were expecting Isaac. At 36 weeks I experienced reduced movement and despite a scan that checked the blood flow through the cord from the placenta at 36 + 4 weeks we were unable to find a heartbeat and we learned the heartbreaking news that his heart had stopped beating; he was born sleeping two days later weighing 6lbs and 12oz; a healthy weight for a newborn. Following the post mortem tests we learned that Isaac was completely healthy and the cause of death remains unknown, the only possible explanation is that he was born with his cord wrapped tightly around his neck; whether this caused his death or whether it happened afterwards we will never know. There was no one to blame, no repercussions only a terrible sadness for us, his parents who he left behind. We hope one day to have another child, not to replace Isaac but simply to continue our journey as parents. Sadly, we have since discovered fertility issues and after almost a year I have been diagnosed with a micro prolactinoma, we are now negotiating the NHS waiting times trying to resolve this.

Nicole writes: I have been with my lovely husband Jim for over 10 years. In 2007 we started trying for a family, only for me to be quickly diagnosed with endometriosis, a condition which can cause pain and infertility. After two operations, I was lucky enough to become pregnant in 2009, but this resulted in an early miscarriage. In 2010, with 3 years to trying to conceive taking its toll on me, we had decided to take a break from trying when we discovered I was pregnant. After a smooth, fairly ‘textbook’ pregnancy, I was 41 weeks and 4 days pregnant when our son Xander died quite suddenly, and was born the following day. As post mortem tests show he was perfectly healthy, his death is thought to be due to leaking waters and an infection, or possibly down to the placenta getting too old. We’ll never know for sure, but we do know that understaffing in midwifery, and incorrect advice, played a part in his death. We hope to go on to have other children, but nothing could possibly make up for the loss of our beautiful son, who we miss every single day.

1 comment:

  1. An excellent blog and what a great idea of 3 mothers all sharing as one, I look forward to reading more xxx