Julz: A Waddling Bump to Wading in Treacle

Two years, seems a life time ago.

It shouldn’t be it’s only

Two years….

Two years ago this Christmas, I had a teeny, tiny bump

Not quite 20 weeks.

Excitement knowing that a year from then we would have a 7 month old.

Signing Christmas cards

Love from bump and us,

A year from then we’d have an extra name.

It is acceptable to add plus bump,

Of course it is, it is a happy magical time bump is part of the family,

We didn’t know the gender, we weren’t even 20 weeks

Yet we could put

“Love from bump”.

Then bump turns into a very early baby.

We now have a name to put in the card,

An extra kiss, an extra smile joining in with the festivities.

We just have to sit back and wait for the months to pass,

As Christmas would be the next “big thing”

Only for you it never came,

You died.

You never saw Christmas.

The Christmas cards arrive

“To us”

“We’re thinking of you”

Some thought a little remembrance.

The sender is unsure of what to write.

The second Christmas,

The second one without you another reminder that

This year we should have had a toddler,

Yet the cards are empty from your name.

You did exist,

I’m sure you did,

I know you do

But why are you left out.

You’re still in my heart

But not in a card,

It’s not fair.

Your little sister is here, and people assume

That now we’re ok.

Christmas is now complete.

But we will always have an empty space,

Wishes are all we have;

What if’s and broken dreams.

We miss you now if not more than ever.

I wish I wasn’t wading through treacle.